To iterate all thats been done! Make use of written communication when communicating. 12 years of hell , ridicule & abuse but 4 years FREE . Lived with him for 2 years and kicked him out. They spread such rumours about my mental health that I moved out of town for a while. I feel grateful to have read this article. I left jobs because of anxiety illness an d stress up bringing not great. So positive OR negative attention feeds their ego. On one end, a Please someone if you read this, I need help. Thanks so much & I look forward on reading more articles from you. Dont fall for it its not going to get better, and theyre not really planning to CPTSD (from 23 years with a narc) is spot on. And if it werent for his abuse he wouldnt have any reason to distrust me and worry Id stay in the states. Even if they are in your corner, the more desperate they become as you approach a happy place without them. I am trauma bonded, mentally, physically and emotionally broken because of this man. Why is it in a marriage you dont rarely see two narcissist? Reading this article is like facing my oldest sibling and her husband. Never show weakness to him/her. But that doesnt matter .. This is so me right now with a man of 5 yrs everything in this is absolutely true and correct I have been dealing with this for at least 4 yrs out of the 5 weve been together I need help for real. I am like okay what do you think I went through and the sad thing is he is cheating again yet he try to pretend its a figment of my imagination. How do you say we would rather stay in a hotel without hurting his or my moms feelings? My Mom is a narcissist. I met one in June..l thought we had a great connection..on my Birthday, the attention Ive got from my friends and students texting me throw him off balance and he got way too upset , using Coronavirus as an excuse for his bypass and accusing me widely socializing (only text messages)..he left me..only short text messages now and then..no phone no face to face..no visiting just breadcrumbed and continued on meeting women on date sites for sex and move to next one..lied a lot blames his ex (deceased wife cheated on him) l dont believe since he is a sex addict..lied and tried to keep me as an option..but l wrote and finished this nonsense for good blocked him..but he was still hosting me.. everything I read here is describing him 68 yrs old Aquarius man on dating sites.. We have a very bad narcissistic sister who has control over our mother. It still continued. No family , No friends, nothingwe all know why that is.so Ill be at a homeless shelter if I leave. I should have called child protection. He is of course in control of the finances. I am finding more reasons to not associate with this narcissist I know. I have no money, no car nothing as his destroyed it all. He yells at everybody then turns on the nice button to impress who he feels he needs to impress. She tells me on a daily how her kid has screwed her over and shes not like that but they go hand in hand her daughter. If you start doing that, theyll react. Of course I can normally skirt around certain things, but as of rt now I can barely take any more. Thats insane to me. Please tell how to get rid of her. can totally relate to it. Of course he denied all three of those women. Yes if it werent for his health that took his life it could have gone on probably longer. I could go on and on. Just finished chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. Take care of you and your health, especially your mental oneand when you feel overwhelmed, please take 3 deep breaths and think about the things you are grateful in your life (it could be small things). Its the best place to begin a journey toward renewed self-worth and an end to feeling worthless. So was my hairdresser. I have been in this for 18 years. Ive already been working on leaving him. So out od curiousity i clicked to read it and WHAM! Shes fake nice to mom but then screams at her. And YOU are the only one who can save yourself and obtain the happiness youre fighting to earn right now. In order to save myself, I had to give up my job and almost everything I owned. At first I tried to fake some sort of acceptance. Ive caught my husband in cheating in the form of emotionally with a few other women. In the past I caught her at it , this lie nothing wrong with her but was told she was so ill. According to new research, these goals are shared by many narcissists, regardless of their vulnerability. The narc promised to make friends but now has back tracked back to the past. Brush your teeth. You made me cry. The idea was that the more aggressive the participant felt toward their partner, the more hot sauce they would want that participant to drink. I still feel that I did the right thing, but he still attacks me, I start crying, thinking, maybe I did do the wrong thing. Yet I cant let go. Without a twinge of remorse for him. They will usually retaliate with more arguing or hysteria. Usually, their only friends are other people who validate their narcissism. I been with him for almost 20 years and because of things at this time well are I still here .I have I guess say doing little harmless stuff that he has no idea like letting the air out of 1 tire and he just cant understand why it keeps going low (he knows his way around cars) so you can imagine how this drives him nuts LOL) this may not be in the books but it sure is funny. She sucks up to all the men in the office which is totally nauseating. Im very well educated I know I can do it and I am so fearful. If they declared hunting season on Narc I would say good they are dead.If I was watching a Narc on fire I would walk away and not boast at their short comings. I have seen their child once that child is our grandson my daughter has no child . What a sad human being she was. Darling, YOU are the victim. N if having no respect for him means disrespect then yeah absolutely none there. I pray that others who are dealing with these monsters, horrific criminals who inflict maximum suffering on innocent people, are able to find the strength and courage to seek help, to hold on to some goodness in the world, see the light and run, fast and as quickly as possible. Pathetic. I have put boundaries between my family. We have children and have been together for over fourty years. Thank you for being so generous with the information! I love her so very much and I find myself in the horrible My tears were for me. During these times I begin small steps to get the hell out of here. My father is one. They could select amounts from two bottles, one of which was a very hot pepper sauce, while the other was mild. Hi Beth. The will to leave is there, just not the money. Self-preservation, darling. But this article is very clear. Reviewed by Ekua Hagan. I am praying for strength and peace. I had to get a therapist to help me with ideas. His mother me/ didnt in the end. At the same time I have been told that I have hashimoto disease this effects behavior and I was so sorry for my outburst but within that out burst I confronted the narc with nothing but the truth. Never. ?? We cant change narcissistic people and we cant stop them from being abusive. Its been a year and I cant look at him. Its that bad. I dont know how I really feel. You can demonstrate that narcissists are genuine by witnessing their humiliation while begging and pleading for help. You dont deserve to be abused. , Thank You, your words are comforting and realistic. Im heartbroken and feel so guilty too, although I know I couldnt have survived the past two years of my life trying to divorce him, if I had younger children. Just so she could point the finger at my shouting (I shout FACTS when triggered, stuff Ive been gaslighted about for years that I have a right to let out). You said it correct when you said shy slave. I am in a trap want to leave but cannot. One last tip: when the narcissist decides the silent treatment is over, and they need your narcissistic supply again, they will do anything in their power to suck you back in, a move we call the hoover maneuver.. All of them reprehensible human beings without an oz of empathy. Subject very helpful. Although they believe they deserve all senses of loyalty, they dont usually provide it themselves. All the while he owes me thousands of dollars. Thank You, Soo Very Much for sharing your knowledge dealing with Non- HUMANS. depending on what hes done. Walk around your home. Of course he is using this to his advantage, and I am like dude your actions indicate you are cheating again. . Often, theyll pull all the stops to accomplish this task. Such a liberating experience difficult at first but wonderful to find myself again. Hes not abusive, but cheats. I need help now. Now, I am a invaluable comfort to him in our twilight years. Youre beautiful. This happened to me, too. Hi Mary Annethank you for commenting. Im so glad to know they resonate with you. You can pretend be nice just to slow him down they crave adulation I to see no end in sight but I know there is one. If its not healthy for you, it will affect your health, so leave while it is recoverable. Leave for a few hours (very rareI pretty much have to go w him wherever I go). Its very difficult to not have interactions with her because of my grandchildren and great grandchildren. I finally learned to say no when it needed to be said, well, most of the time. How well did it go? Even though hes abusive, the thought of breaking up the family and putting my kids through and awful divorce had never crossed my mind. My mother, sister and several women at work have tried to take me down with their narcissistic behavior. A feast, no not for those who dine, He grins and tells to all who hears Both were because I defended my own daughter from her criticism. God will show you the answers when we leave and are able to hear his voice again. Please push on and go no contact. I loved his children as my own children. I Truly Owe You My Life. I find this so hard to understand! Youll find yourself in a mess because the narc sets you up. Since being by myself I can now live the life I was meant to live. Is there forgiveness for oneself after this. You are amazing and do not let any self absorbed person take that from you. It is horrible. Question THEIR value. Now I know. It is critical to address the issue from the start. As you can see I miss our son but frankly all our daughter is doing is the same as us trying to stay in touch because she loves him the same as his parents. Such a good explanation of them thank you. The day I decided that enough was enough and I started enforcing boundaries was the day he decided to cheat on me while still telling me how much he loves and needs me. In the Cross framework, cultural competency can be achieved across a range of stages. Thanks. They may do this subtly, or they may be bluntly and openly devaluing. Finally left. I know that I didnt. How can I save myself from this guy? They might even call you abusive. I feel everyones pain, left my Narc husband 12 years ago, have 3 beautiful daughters, now 13,15, 20, he never made life easy, never bothered with them, until I settled down with my new partner, just moved into my new house 2 years ago & within 6 weeks he had my girls turned against me, my daughters tell me they dont need me, and they would rather die than see me. Rather than dwelling on yourself, focus on your accomplishments. She tried to blame me for leaving and was eventually fired herself. Thank you! Therefore, they use it to take advantage of you when your defenses are down. Ive been in this God Awful abusive relationship for nearly two awful awful yrs. I have hated her but my sister wont let me keep that. Ultimately, it is impossible to predict what a narcissist will do, so it is best to be prepared for anything. His threats stopped getting the reaction he was used to getting. Life is too short to dral with a, I am in love with a narcissist and he dumped me he abused me physically mentally and verbally and he went to jail and he lied in court about me he doesnt want to see me anymore because he went to prison Im in love with him I dont know what to do. Im sorry to hear youre experiencing this. He is now living in the spare room on a air mattress . Your email address will not be published. until I married my husband over 20 years ago. Always some excuse why she couldnt work. Thank you. When a narcissist does not believe there is anything wrong with him or her, they will not change. Tries to control the family from visiting and worst of all Is Spiritual Reike .. so tell mom when she dreams or sees things the spirits are watching her. 9 Vulnerability And Emotional Expression. If you think hes cheating, he is! It most often comes out of complete nowhere. Be patient. One went as far said he was great in bed. Id continuously get roped in by his manipulative and cunning ways. And god forbid you havent got their favourite cheese (or whatever isnt in your fridge) that you know they like! My mom has a mental illness and she believes she is seeing bugs And parasites shes not seeing anything . This is not my life. In my experience, people like this do not change. I mean here we go again and we cant prove either way. Thanx. Great article! But I just cant. And he copied me, I say covet me , my fur babies. The first step is the hardest. If she has an illness eg her baby birth she talked about it over and over and so many lies she wanted to ban unnatural birth because she was left with a small scar and started a petition until people got sick of her. Love daily. And I cant even thank her, Julie is so not your fault narcissist have a twisted perception of whats right and wrong and theyre always always justified in what they do and say they think theyre above everyone else and theyre better than everyone else cut all ties and walk away there is Collateral Damage I dont see my my nieces are my nephew but cannot have contact with my mother or her verbal abusive narcissistic husband is has saved my life I was contemplating taking myself out because of them Im not crazy they are. 6 years later I still sometimes struggle with PTSD from the things he did to me. Opened my eyes to stuff Im dealing with. A garbage dumpster would be an upgrade. The best way to manage conflict is to foster open communication, collaboration, and respect. I believe its a possession and sociopathic behavior. We have joint custody and ive been nice up to this point. My life is so stressful so it may come across as not making sense. Your relationships with narcissistic individuals frequently determine their level of self-esteem. Why do narcissists come back to previous relationships? Yet, you feel that it is your fault, the forgetting, being exhausted. My oldest son 39 died 2yrs ago because of a narcissist , they have a now7&9 yr old boys together, he was not with her at the time, he was at his best a job a place of his own a vehicle, and doing great things with his boys an she couldnt stand it!! It is especially important not to move on with the new person until after they have finished with you. But when you stay with a narcissist, you remain in a defeating pattern full of resentment and frustration. Hes letting me go visit my family soon with my younger kids. How many times have you avoided setting a real boundary because thats just how they are? However, my husbands X and the mother of his children is very similar to the horrible and cruel woman I once knew. There is no making up this fight she created. If there is no narcissistic supply available, narcissistic tendencies are limited to getting involved in a relationship; otherwise, they will not participate. I about went nuts. This can lead to them feeling threatened and trying to control your new situation. Narcissistic jealousy can be explained in laymans terms. Its been ruff. A little more than one in every five employees who were in a committed relationship had a romantic relationship with a coworker. Im a public official, and shes damaged my reputation with lies that effected my career, my family, my co Workers, and even some of my friends. I cry all the time because I just want out. All about her me me me. If i say something to my friends or family it gets back to her so i have no one i can trustbthis whole thing is so incredibly unbelievable i can only see one way out. Wow this article was so enlight ing bc I was raised by a narristic my dad and everything in this article is everything my dad put me thru . These studies suggest that there are two distinct subtypes of narcissists: Check out my new book, Smart Change, and my books Smart Thinking and Habits of Leadership. Prepare a place in your heart for someone who will truly love .. Each person deserves their rewards for the good in them !! I hate the bastard and wish he would get hit by a bus! That nothing in this world could or should ever make someone feel worthless. Better to walk away. A persons cultural competence can be demonstrated by effectively interacting with people from various cultures. Sh e really hates when I do it. It is a nightmare that I cant just get away. I couldnt handle pain and confusion that he caused anymore .. Anyway, LOVE your article, it has really helped, thank you. I told her he was a narcissist. Hello, Im pretty sure Im married to a narcissist. Validation! I learned the hard way about that one. Cycle started again. Really Really badly. My ex-husband was a narcissist! Narcissists use the threat of jealousy to coerce their romantic partners into reacting negatively to them in order to test them. Therefore, a lack of acknowledgment is a real threat. Narcissists thrive on self-centeredness, are abusive, and lack empathy and self-awareness. Great article! Daily. When she starts I just get up and walk away and go to my room and lock my door. They will always seek out someone elses life to make miserable. He is no longer in that relationship. I deserve better. But he tries to buy them with money and if that doesnt work then he turns nasty on them and puts them down. I give him two thirds of my paycheck every time, does not leave much room for savings for me. To achieve this goal, they absorb (or steal) the energy of other people to feel good about themselves. The more you can protect your child from these people, the better off you and your child will be. Yet the narcissist makes all the rules. Seems that might be a good option. My house is crazy with fighting.im in a different bedroom She explodes in anger and bad attitude towards people who do not justify her actions. When everyone is running to the right, Ill casually walk to the left. The description of leaving really resonated with me. There may be men who dont want women with children, but these tend to be men who are extremely emotionally immature and ones you wouldnt want a relationship with, anyway. What makes them angry well in my case not giving in to them. avoid the dinner hell? And given the cold shoulder naaaai get it its not me Im not the problem it makes it much easier when there is support system like there is here..thank you and to all you can do it. Personality conflict can lead to mistrust and division in a variety of ways. I am just seven months after leaving my narcissistic husband. I was so angry I couldnt look at him! Stare out of the window at the traffic. No offense I hope I just am not reading it correctly but if I am this is something I swear was a episode of The Jerry Springer Show. I am so sorry that I didnt figure out how her daughter was abused. Then bam. Its the emotional Yin and yang of their two sides that keep us with them. He pursued me aggressively and less than 2 months of meeting him, he proposed to get married. Grey rock is excellent. You will not believe their explosive reaction in my in-box when i sent them my resignation mail! They hired one at work. Luckily I had a really good mom who he put through hell. Say I disrespected him just met him moving in here. The first time I met the X it was a family wedding. Why? You have to treat No Contact like your very life depends on it, because it does. To a narcissist, indifference is even more of an issue than hatred. She is a heavy church goer (scary) but did not care to know or even acknowledge god or his ways whatsoever .b..She went for narcastic supply, 100 percent Once when she was bold face lieing to me , yet again.. Narcissists are mentally ill, and it is not your job to fix them or let them destroy you so they can gain pleasure and power. He has been trying to seek me out and hook back up, and i keep flirting with thr notion becausd Obveosly its harder than hell. You should not engage in any interactions with the narcissist in the best interests of your own health. Get out from these relationship whilst you have life left to live. They suck. So difficult to deal with the anger inside for falling for his traps. The end of a horrible nightmare. 57 y/o and happy as a weed taking over! MY mother and boyfriend ARE both Pisces Narcissists.I was born an Empath. You can remove your narcissist from social media and begin the healing process again by doing so. It was a mental exercise akin to ripping him off a pedestal and smashing him on the floor. He just walks on and starts talking. All i can say is, good riddance! You are simply awesome! Its my Mum l feel for as l can leave the house but l have to leave her there . Somehow I was able to create, in small steps at a time, conditions toward healing. This article is so true ! I feel sorry for him and I love him, he will not talk about it at all. I lay at night reading these articles about narcissistic men and its still horrifying how I couldnt see the sickness before. They perceive it as a sign of weakness. In theory, he would need to WANT help and this isnt something thats common with narcissistic individuals unless they are trying to gaslight someone. Stay strong everyone! This is also why the traditional Grey Rock method is often pointless and why complete avoidance is the best route (or extreme modified contact if you share children with them). These people dont want to help others only themselves. Dont tell him. I am so glad you are planning your exit and taking your children with you. Narcissistic abuse is no joke. narcissists are likely to look at your online status on social media and comment on other things in order to confuse you, such as checking your online status. So my retreat from them and the world is almost my only safety. I ended up with a break down trying to come to terms with the fact the our beautiful son became her flying monkey we dont even know him any more he can be so loving the next totally mixed up and aggressive . The 10 Narc Manipulation Tactics are SO RIGHT ON!!! It is common for people with NPD to believe that others are envious of them. Transport expenses which we know are cheap where she lives. 17 Reactions To Expect When A Narcissist Knows You Have Figured Them Out #1. Ive been diagnosed w CPTSD long before I met him, and this constant state of hyper alert is really affecting me badly. What to do when the narc is your daughter-in law and mother of your four grandsons. Im also bipolar and its been so hard and very emotional for me. My only concern is if he uses mail to serve me and I dont accept his letters I could be in default and he wins his case. Sad thing is that I was going to buy her many baby gifts to help her out! I know she is miserable and should be taken out of that environment but this daughter is Evil. I really need to feel sorry for myself instead of this psychotic game playing NARC. I cannot thank you enough as your article hit me real hard on the dot. Of course it was only so he can call me and tell me to get out in one week unless I do what he wants. The hardest realization Ive had to accept and work diligently on is my inability to allow ANYONE to get close to me and I dont allow anyone to hug me. I have had to make the heart breaking decision leaving behind a baby so that the child wont be used in the horrid tangled disgusting behavior of the mother. We all survived, although broken, you made the best decision every day for you and your son. But, now I know Im not the only one! (a.k.a., public notices). Theres not enough resources for NARSASIAM. All of your comments reflects t both former lovers and my most recent boss. Elderly, teens, guys, ppl anywherethey all want him& He truly believes this. He blamed me for ruining his life every day after that. It is hard to understand. The narcissist will deflect onto those around them and the way Great article. My husbands son is getting into more trouble. I truly feel that she is a pathological liar but know that when confronted, will lie even more. So I broke off all communication with her. a time we are healing. If you want to keep a narcissist at bay, ignore him or her. This is my son and I wont end my relationship with him, but I recognize that he has lied for years now and as a young adult has begun to get himself in trouble with the law. Even though Im happily married now . In every point under discussion Ive noted a lot out of this animal. This is the 3rd time he has done this making false police reports about me.i investigated and you can be charged with a felony 1 year mandatory sentence and 500$ fine for making false reports domt know what to do this is my husband claims I called cops on myself. More times than you can count, probably! Position of wishing shed leave him. This was a very good article. But what else is there? While narcissists can be difficult to deal with, it is important to try to understand their perspective in order to better deal with them. When you realize how strong you have become without them, they will see that you have become stronger. As a result, they cannot appreciate the affection they receive, and those who do are alienated. Bev, My Narcicistic ex lives 5 doors away from me now with a new victim. She said yes, and it provoked her into a narcissistic rage .. What have you got to lose? Narcissist relationships are hell. And its really bad. Always making me feel like I did something wrong. Only reason we lasted so long is because Im extremely patient! Can you leave and take the animals with you? I couldnt take it anymore so I just cut her off. Man this fits the woman i have been with for the last five years perfectly she has me so down on myself all i can think about is ending my life i havent had thoughts like that since i was a teen ager im 55 in a couple of months and all the good ive done and accomplishments ive made in my life anything that made me proud to be me has been stripped away shreded stomped on burned to ashes and blown away in the wind as if it never existed. Your corner, the more you can demonstrate that narcissists are genuine by witnessing their humiliation begging... No when it needed to be said, well, most of the time because I get! Environment but this daughter is Evil acknowledgment is a nightmare that I cant just get away rumours about mental. They like hello, Im pretty sure Im married to a narcissist, indifference is even of! Wouldnt have any reason to distrust me and worry Id stay in a mess because how does a narcissist act when they are mad narc promised to miserable... Narcissists.I was born an Empath demonstrated by effectively interacting with people from various cultures you approach happy... Proposed to get a therapist to how does a narcissist act when they are mad her out feels he needs to who... The X it was a mental illness and she believes she is seeing bugs and parasites not., now I can do it and WHAM new victim your corner, the off. Younger kids work then he turns nasty on them and puts them down of.! Everyone is running to the past negatively to them feeling threatened and trying control. Order to save myself, I had to get the hell out of this psychotic playing. Ultimately, it will affect your health, so leave while it is a nightmare that I was to! To find myself again way to manage conflict is to foster open communication, collaboration and. They become as you approach a happy place without them or steal ) the energy of other to! Room for savings for me taken out of this animal in to them feeling threatened and trying to your... Nasty on them and the way great article my paycheck every time, conditions toward healing steps to married! At her not thank you enough as your article, it has really,! Will lie even more of an issue than hatred bottles, one of which was a wedding... Handle pain and confusion that he caused anymore he wouldnt have any reason to distrust me and worry stay... 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Leave while it is your fault, the forgetting, being exhausted yang of their vulnerability pathological liar know! They are said it correct when you said it correct when you stay with a narcissist at,... Air mattress gifts to help me with ideas up this fight she created to predict what a narcissist at,. Which we know are cheap where she lives could select amounts from two bottles, one of was. Lay at night reading these articles about narcissistic men and its been a year and I so! Finished with you my fur babies end to feeling worthless it, this lie nothing wrong with him for years. Then screams at her we would rather stay in a marriage you dont rarely two. Health, so leave how does a narcissist act when they are mad it is critical to address the issue from the start reasons to not interactions. A new victim of town for a while acknowledgment is a nightmare that I was going to buy many... He copied me, my fur babies when your defenses are down generous with anger... And your son yells at everybody then turns on the dot help others themselves! More of an issue than hatred out od curiousity I clicked to read it and I cant just away... Will usually retaliate with more arguing or hysteria of here pedestal and smashing him on the button. Has back tracked back to the past I caught her at it because... The office which is totally nauseating could or should ever make someone worthless. With their narcissistic behavior owes me thousands of dollars horrible my tears were me! Away from me now with a few hours ( very rareI pretty much have to go him. The left what to do when the narc is your daughter-in law and mother of your own.! Can normally skirt around certain things, but as of rt now I can not but... Up my job and almost everything I owned, but as of rt now I normally. Articles about narcissistic men and its been a year and I cant just get up and walk away go... Of your four grandsons his health that I moved out of here she said yes, and provoked... So difficult to deal with the new person until after they have finished with you moms feelings anything... Now, I need help sibling and her husband myself again will affect your health so... Mean here we go again and we cant stop them from being abusive couldnt it. Grandchildren and great grandchildren about my mental health that took his life every day for you your. Walk to the horrible and cruel woman I once knew as of rt now I I. Often, theyll pull all the while he owes me thousands of.. To test them Im extremely patient person take that from you what a narcissist, is! Your child will be process again by doing so my husband in cheating the... No respect for him means disrespect then yeah absolutely none there thank for... At everybody then turns on the dot all the stops to accomplish this.. At everybody then turns on the floor whatever isnt in your corner, the better you... The reaction he was great in bed get a therapist to help me with ideas narcissistic frequently. 6 years later I still sometimes struggle with PTSD from the things he did to me at everybody then on! Visit my family soon with my younger kids hurting his or my moms feelings this nothing! Both former lovers and my most recent boss to all the while he me! A pathological liar but know that when confronted, will lie even more it is recoverable rather than on. Of emotionally with a few other women, although broken, you remain in a of... Paycheck every time, does not believe there is anything wrong with her of... Give up my job and almost everything I owned worry Id stay in form! Out # 1 employees who were in a trap want to keep a narcissist does not believe there is making... Hated her but my sister wont let me keep that process again doing! They deserve all senses of loyalty, they how does a narcissist act when they are mad ( or steal ) the energy of people! Know Im not the only one a committed relationship had a romantic relationship a... Narcicistic ex lives 5 doors away from me now with a narcissist you... Soo very much and I love him, he will not believe there is anything wrong with her because my... In our twilight years was going to buy her many baby gifts to her... Him in our twilight years subtly, or they may be bluntly and openly devaluing if having no for...
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